Once I Took the World

I want a life like yours.
Tall that you can view the world from high above,
Knowing exactly which horizon to walk on.
I want a life like yours,
Pretty that diamonds and ruby fall meaningless around you,
And your eyes means prosperity.
I need a life like yours,
You’re one to trust when every soil, every ocean shake into destruction,
I want a live like you so I took it from you.
I want a heart like yours so I rip it out of your rib.
I want to warmth like yours, so I stole it all, I ruin it all for you.


I Should Be Talking to Nothing

I’m with myself.
Sun has gone for so long, only leaving traces of darkness to emit till the corner of this room,
My eyes reflecting the imagination of yours.
I caress the dark air yet I convince myself that this is your hot body,
Rigid and heavy,
Unmistakably melt in my touch.

I’m only with myself,
I’m with the voice of nothingness.
Also the melancholy of your unreal words whispering and capturing myself in unshakable net,
I acknowledge there is really no way out,
I can’t escape even through the door,
You got me all trapped, wicked witch,
Tricking me into falling into the dimension of you.
Ensuring me that it was you both in light and dark,
Both in noise and silence,
Both in mind and reality.

Pendulum of My Wings

I wish I’m a kite, I think I can fly far far away like a bird with my hands as my wings, I hope to divide the breeze like a mad parachute.
The world’s carved in my body and it’s a majestic tattoo on my skin.
I feel calmness in this, remembrance of shooting feeling, like pair of eyes facing the galaxy.
I expand my wings when it is only the sound of the pendulum. I fly a bit when you whisper my name to my neck,
I touch the world like I would to fragile glasses.
I touch my skin like I would to your vulnerable lips.
And I find my body gently shaking the world :
I fly to sense the breeze of the world.
I fly in short moment like that sound of the pendulum,
calm like mad parachute to your vulnerable lips.


I don’t spare a blink on my run,
Don’t even shed a tear also on my run,
This glass body of mine
Dared to run carelessly.
I’d like to sculpt you,
Drown in your word,
Be you, feel you touch you, treat you gently.
I’m longing to create you.
The only maker of yours-
Yet I keep hammering those fragile bones of yours.
Swearing and spitting on your marble body.
Do I got it all wrong,
Wrongfully thought I’m the most gentle to you.
Did I forget that I should really blink,
Or simply just that you’ve never loved me before.




I’m afraid.
I’m in darkness.
I’m being chased,
I feel hot and I’m crying also.
There’s light, a voice of someone that might be helping me-I fall and fall, bleeding, I hope, I fall, and it still indeed not funny, this DARKNESS.

I’m afraid.
I’m afraid, I’m fragile and I’m naked.
Vulnerable, I hope run can save my live : I’m afraid and I’m fragile and I’m naked.
I’m crying, I’m yelling also I’m begging.
Being tied, I hope, ridiculously hope, I simply won’t die.
I am afraid, I am shaking and being chased.
I am afraid, I am yelling and none listening.
I am afraid, I am looking back and and there is no mercy.
I’m afraid and it’s silence.

Suicide Letter

I thought it would be blue.
When the sky ripped into two,
All the sphere and bird and clouds, sucked into the damaging tantrum,
It is almost as if the sky crying,
I am staring at that.
All the fusion and crash,
All the papers and pen around me,
I thought the world would be blue.

I’ve always hated the white paper,
For it not understanding how hard to write a starting letter on it.
And writing on it is getting harder that it would be my last letter :
‘Dear Mother,’
I throw all the papers to the grounds with all of its twin, I could not even left her the last message.
Dear Mother,
I still can’t do it that I crush the paper again, throwing it on the floor again.
I’m crying now all hands holding my head and feeling its pulsation.
The frustration dwelling in this loser made me scream a voiceless anger.
It is as if the world ain’t letting me win, not even winning over something as small as writing a letter.
I’m a loser I’m a loser I’m a loser I’m a loser a lot much loser I’m a loser I’m a loser
And I tried to overcome my last challenge. I’m a loser. The world is so vast and too much hardship in it. I cried a lot, I burn a lot, I curse a lot too and finally I got to only override on last quest, I’m writing it in sorrow, in anger of despair. I’m thinking it in my deepest thinking,I’m swearing in my rudest word, I’m writing my suicide letter.

Too Old to Cry

She is 58 years old,
And I am 61.
When we meet,
at last we meet,
we were hidden in wrinkles because laughter split every skin on our face.
The time has been too long and we still feel like a teenager.
I imagine her hands must have hold too many grandchildren, I also bet she might already forgotten most of her grandchildren,
‘It would be nice if we were married. You and I.’
She look younger than her actual vessel,
Her regret making her looks the most vulnerable,
Yet she just sit there and smile.
We both staring far far away to the grass field, to the sky that looks fairly horizontal above it, more further, we were looking to the forest where we used to play.
She and I when we have lot more hair than now, when we were even taller than now.
‘I love you,’ I said to her, and the kiss after that felt like the most tender of anything.
In the forest where she and I falling deep to our kiss,
I thought I would be the happiest.
In the forest where she and I feel falling deep into love,
I thought she would be mine.
Yet we are now old,
Being too old,
Even too old to live a bit more longer and she and I…
Not the happiest.