I haven’t called you since God only Knows when.
I am walking in the automatic mode.
I am programmed to wake up, do my job, back home, and sleep just so I can wake up again.
So today I made a breakthrough.
I called my name repeatedly, hoping my soul back inhibit my body.
I called it desperately, before it gone too long.
I looked inside my chest, the numbness that I have never felt went away, I have never felt it only because I didn’t realize I was numb – and finally I was able to think clearly,
“Jim back, the longer you gone, the easier you broke a bone.
Back Jim, you actually can do anything.”
But what I tried was useless. Because there isn’t any me in this body. There isn’t in this physical body. There isn’t me/I/myself – a self, there have never been, so it was just a voice of something tickling inside a physical body. Inside the automated Jim, there have never been anything. Routines rolling his bones and flesh, hammering his soul, routines stealing his identity, bleaching Jim, corrupting Jim, – only true if Jim was actually existed.