Category: you see it a DAILY LIFE

Someday Someone Will Want to Cling to Your Palms

And for today we are going to lay.
Today we are going to lay, down and even lower.
We get quiet, staring at translucent ball out there,
Where it is indeed actually a secret part of something called future,
Someday someone will want to cling to your palm.

And I talk in really high pitch,
Rambling that we’re feeling cold,
And down,
Someday someone will want to cling to my palm.

Today we communicate rushly,
What we look is an angry soul,
Red maybe,
And we we keep laying, keep feeling cold :
Someday, no later in the future, someone will want to cling to our palm.

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Sleep Paralysis

The curtains, it blown so hard by the wind outside, it was wrong of me to let the window open. I long to close it, yet somehow I was unable to move. I felt like my whole body being pinned. By something. By the lack of breath, I tried to move but I couldn’t. I tried to scream but I’m mute, I say my prayer inside my head, as I feel there’s something next to my neck, pushing so hard into my neck, wanting to be inside of my neck, wanting to be me. I say my prayer inside my head. I lost. I say my prayer inside my head, It got an inch into my neck, I suddenly heard his voice. His deep black voice, talking in a language I couldn’t understand, and I look into the door, into the black big figure with red eyes creepily watching at me. He thought I couldn’t see him. He thought he could own me. He was trying to observe me. As I say my prayer inside my head, I started to gain my body back. I fell back into another sleep. I woke up to the still curtains, to the perfectly locked window.

They Give Us a Knife

There’s a knife society prepare for us.

When we reach the capability of having an opinion, we have to cross the knife into our eyes, keep the stench in the shadow, have to be blind. Because it is taboo to say obesity is not healthy. And you have to support income equality. And you have to let people be banned because they don’t believe in your God. When you cry for you friend and his same sex lover, your eyes are too functional. You let people whine and blame others, you let people accuse the government in their hibernation. The knife have to pierce deep into your retina. The blinder you are, the better.

The Brownish Drink Mommy Usually Sleeps with

Mommy told me Daddy left for a while

I tried to feel sad but I couldn’t,

I like the not-bleeding Mom more.

Mommy said she missed Daddy.

‘Mom, Daddy is an asshole,’

‘Kid, watch your mouth,’

‘The other kids also called me that,’

Yeah sure they liked the girl with the thin body and same clothes.

The whispering tells me, ‘they said it’d be better not to involved with that family,

As they were the lowest of human being,

What a poor kid,

To grow in an environment like that,’

Mommy is the only one that likes me, you see.

I cried in the night because I finally able to feel sad,

My Mom stolen by my new sister.,

I don’t like you, new sister.

Being so tiny,

Beautiful,

And Green,

She always sleeps even when she is awake,

‘Mom it’s me,’

‘You damned child, if it weren’t you, he wouldn’t left,’

Mom that is the new sister talking

Whispering whispers into you,

Being cute in front of you,

She is biting you in your sleep,

‘I’m sorry I’m sorry let me pour you the brandy.’

All I Ever Needed was Something I Could Hold in My Hands

Its marble eyes shining like the moon.

Its lips flamed like scarlet wine,

And its hair, those golden threads, flying beautifully around the soft air.

 

All I ever did was hold on to it.

I held it with all my might on my bed, also my between my dinner,

I held it all the time I was growing up back then,

All I ever felt was another form of love around it.

 

One day it was gone from my two useless hand.

Those holding gesture immediately changed,

My hands were frantically looking for that weirdly precious thing.

It was lost, my hands facing towards the floor that day,

I was a spiritless being.

 

I grew up as a woman with hands facing the floor.

But your hand slyly held my useless hand tightly,

Like you would never let it go.

 

Her scarlet wine-like flamed lips, I wanted to kiss it.

Her marble eyes, I wanted to live by it,

I would do all that while feeling her warmth inside my grasp.

 

“What a magical thing you were,

The very hair of her,” I thought.

“You made this facing-floor-hands turn upward,

You made my hand reaching her ear,

Facing the vast blue-ish sky.”

 

And like usual, things I hold in my hands were gone.

Was it lost in parallel universe, I thought,

Was it lost around my drawer,

Or below my bed, I still don’t know.

Was it lost behind discrimination, I thought.

 

Was she lost from my mind,

Or the society lost their mind,

Just

Never mind,

I’ll find out once I held this rope out.


 

Some of the ‘straight people’ argument about gay couple were right, I must admit. But I just can’t understand why should the straight people should ‘guide’ the gay ones by labelling, discrimination even violence.

Anyway the title was a song title by The Smith Street Band, also the simile for lips was something I read on the internet, wasn’t made by me.

Girl, Call

They call me red because the red light ignites my body.
or because red means stop – no access over there.

They call me black because it is the color of sin.
Also, I live on every dark alley,
on the road full of lust-
Full of animal desire-
I exhibit my red heels,
This dark dirty road is my catwalk,
eyes of the lonely witnessing my elegance,

They call me skank-
I’m just accompany of loneliness,
I’m just a momentary happiness,
They call me slut-
I’m just man’s ally.
I’m just looking for food,
They call me bitch-
I’m just so good at pleasuring you,
I’m just lonely, insecure.
They call me angel,
praising how kind-hearted my soul is,
I always there, ending their misery,
They call me beautiful,
something they can’t ever have,
They praise me because I accompany them,
and I call myself nothing.

I call myself nothing.

Another Nightmare

The fortress I saw in my dream has two hallways.

The first hallway ended on a square reddish room,
The second hallway was too long, I can’t peek what inside it,
All I knew, those hallways emitting a bad aura.

And there was a game.
There were two seperated groups, and I couldn’t feel nothing but terrified.
I asked the game’s moderator,
“can I not join this game?”
I asked that because I knew if I join the game, I would be dead.

The game started and I knew that’ll be the end of me,

Just right when I believed I’ll be a part of two dead groups, I suddenly stand outside the fortress.

I was with a man, young man, I didn’t know who was he but he pointed the smallest part of the fortress and said,
“Look, someone is dead.”

I didn’t feel a thing when I saw a dead human, I was examining that body and a man and a woman was coming, running, screaming,

“Someone is dead.”

The funny thing was the whole place covered by dead bodies. Every high places has dead bodies below it, everyone was jumping, killing themselves.

And there was a man threatening to jump, I ran and followed him, the young man beside me was gone, I ran desperately, trying to reach the man before he jumped, I was beside the fortress, there was a net, and I entered the scariest part of my dream.

I was back seeing the fortress with its two hallways, I was back to into the two groups and I have to play a deadly game, I knew every part of my dream is going to looping, repeating all over again.